Thoughts of an Avalanche
I have so many things to be grateful for, and I am, but why was I chosen to end up this way? The word "anxiety" doesn't describe this sinking feeling, this feeling of drowning while still on land, this feeling of impending doom, when everything is seemingly fine. Our planet keeps spinning, but my world seems to stand still. I take two steps forward and five steps back. I've always been told healing isn't linear, but it always feels like I'm on a rollercoaster with only hills that never end. With high highs and low lows, anxiety doesn't care how worn out you are. While life continues around me, I struggle to find meaning in each day. These days start to feel the same, they blur together like a distant memory. I wake up, feel anxious, journal while sitting outside, do yoga, go on a bike ride, garden, or read, while internally trying to let the anxious feelings pass, but it seems like they never fully do. I bask in the small moments of "calm" I hav...
